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Mon, May. 9th, 2011, 09:11 pm
Room Serviced

Room Serviced
Elenor hated hotel. Never had liked them. Sleeping in someone else’s bed, on someone else’s sheets. Living off only what she’d been able to pack into a suitcase. Yuck. She’d much rather be at home with all her familiar creature comforts. Really the only thing hotels were good for was crazy hot hotel sex. The kind of kinky things she just couldn’t do in front of her cats. Hotel sex also appealed to Elenor because it usually involved strangers. No emotional attachments, just detached but kinky sex.
Elenor was lying in her hotel bed in Miami. The room was in one of those nice but generic hotel cum conference centers and she was there for yet another mind numbing sales and marketing meeting. She was naked going over her meeting schedule and absent mindedly stroking herself.
There was a slight knock at the door and Elenor paused mid-stroke, her fingers poised right above her clit. There was another louder knock and a sultry steamy male voice called out in a Spanish tinged voice so velvety smooth it made her insides clench. “Would you like breakfast senora?” Elenor rose from the bed in a languid graceful movement and slipped into a crimson red silk robe, tying it loosely around her narrow waist.
She walked to the door and cracked it open “I didn’t order room service” she states, matter-of-factly. “Oh yes I know senora, but permite, I am a cook here and you are mas bonita. I make you breakfast myself si?” As he stood saying this Elenor was appraising him from head to toe. He had chiseled Latin good looks like Antonio Bandaras or Erik Estrada. His coffee black hair curled slightly from beneath his chef’s cap, slipping casually, seductively into his eyes. “May I come in?”
“I suppose” she said, moving back from the door and motioning him into her room. “What is your name?” “Jose Luis DeSilva-Montoya, but you senora may call me Jose” “Well my name is Elenor and you can put breakfast over there” she says, gesturing towards the sitting area, the shoulder of her robe slipping down, showing a toned bare expanse of arm from neck to almost elbow. As he moves covered dishes and a hot plate from the serving cart to the dinette table his eyes are drawn to this expanse of tantalizing bare flesh.
Elenor perches demurely on the edge of the bed, and crosses her legs. Her robe slips open exposing an expanse of leg from the top of her thigh down. Jose nearly drops the platter of fruit he has in his hands. A stray strawberry falls from the platter and rolls to a stop at Elenor’s perfectly pedicured feet. She bends over to retrieve it and her robe gaps open revealing a glimpse of her luscious breasts hanging ripe and full. Jose stares openly as she picks the strawberry up and pops it in her mouth. The juicy fruit bursts on her tongue and her little pink tongue darts out to lick the juice from her lips. Jose attempts to hide his blossoming boner by shifting and crossing his legs.
Holding up an omelet pan he asks her “Would you like your eggs scrambled or fertilized? Uh I mean FRIED!” “I prefer my eggs over-sleazy” she purrs. She stands up and the tie to her robe slips undone revealing that yes, she was very very naked underneath. She slinks over to Jose and lets the robe slip off and pool to the floor. Jose drops the omelet pan with a clatter.
They embrace in a heated tangling of lips and tongues and limbs. Elenor tosses Jose’s chef’s hat to the floor and rips open his shirt to lay kisses on his chiseled bare chest. He kneads her breasts like an expert baker with a wad of dough, and her desire begins to rise. “Oh God I love room service breakfast!” she moans.
She plucks a piece of bacon from a plate and nibbles it, moaning “I looove bacon, it’s the other white meat!” “How about sausage?” Jose queries as he drops his pants to reveal his perfect member, long hard and bending slightly to the left. Elenor drops to her knees and takes his penis in her hands. “I love sausage the MOST” she pants “Especially covered in maple syrup!” She reaches up and takes the little bottle of syrup and drizzles a little bit of warm syrup on his hot cock before taking him in her mouth.
She licks and tickles and nibbles and almost bits his cock and strokes his balls. The feel of the syrup and her mouth brings him to the brink and he shudders “Oh Jose, frost me like a donut!” she gasps. He pulls out and shoots his load all over her face. The cum and the syrup run down her face and drips off her chin. She takes a finger and wipes a bit off her cheek, and licks the salty sweetness off. “You taste so GOOD!” she purrs.
“Now it is time for me to make you happy” Jose says “Lay down por favor” Elenor spreads herself on the floor, her limbs draped seductively. Jose takes a covered tray from the cart and kneels beside her. He pulls off the cover with a flourish revealing a dish of chocolate chips, a dish of blueberries and a can of whipped cream.
He shakes the whipped cream can and pushes the nozzle. With a “phwoosh” the cream foams out onto his finger. He places the finger against her lips and she licks the whipped cream off like a cat. He then draws a smiley face with the whipped cream on her stomach. He finishes it by adding blueberries as the eyes and chocolate chips for teeth. “There, I have made you happy no?” “So very very happy” she moans. He leans over her and trails his tongue through the whipped cream and traces a line down her stomach, and over her pubic hair. He flicks his tongue over her clit, moaning “You taste like chocolate chips, so sweet” He picks up a handful of berries from the plate and slowly one by one he slips them inside her sweet vag.
He lays his mouth against her clit and whispers Spanish innuendo against her nether regions. He flicks his tongue and rolls his “R’s” and utters words with the titillating feel of the tilde, words like montaña and mañana. He works her into a frenzy until she is wet with lust and want and desire. Her juices ooze out of her pussy sweet like berries. With one last “Tu es todo mi mundo” Jose brings her to climax and she contracts her snatch and the blueberries pop out with an audible “plop” and a torrent of lady juices. Jose catches her juice and the berries in his mouth. With a grin he states quite straight faced “Mmmm blueberries are so good for you, full of antioxidants”
“I still want some of that spicy chorizo ” Elenor says and pulls Jose towards him. “Scramble my eggs now” she states simply as she strokes his cinnamon colored penis. When he is as hard as petrified wood she guides him into her tight wet pussy and he cries out “Dios Mio!” They work in tandem, their bellies making a satisfying slapping sound as they grind and thrust together. They develop a rhythm and move faster and faster, harder and harder building towards this fantastic release. Like water set to boil, they are about to whistle. “Oh god, oh god” Jose moans. “Oh fucking Capt’n Crunch!!!” yells Elenor panting as she comes so hard it feels like her insides are a bag of Jiffy Pop popcorn. They lie on the floor panting like animals in the sweltering summer sun. After a few minutes Jose gets up and puts on his chefs hat, his now flaccid member bobbing rather distractingly between his legs. He asks her sweetly “Would you like some breakfast now señora?” “No, I’d rather just have a cup of coffee, black” Elenor says rising from the floor and heading towards the bathroom “I have a meeting in a few minutes”

Tue, Mar. 22nd, 2011, 09:31 pm

(Just a quick little something inspired by a textsfromlastnight.com post*)

Jenny and Cliff were pretty buzzed and feeling really really frisky as they stumbled drunk into his apartment last Saturday night. Her dress came off at the door, his pants on the way to the kitchen for more beer. Her bra was flung on the lampshade. By the time they stumbled to his room they were both wearing nothing but undies and socks. Cliff flung his bedroom door open and they were greeted with the acrid smell of cat piss. "Goddammit!" Cliff cursed. "My cat must have gotten locked in here. She pissed on the fucking bed!" Jenny's face fell as the idea of getting it on seemed to slip away. She was not about to do it in cat piss. She may be drunk but she had standards dammit. "Hold on, I'll just make my room-mate move and we can do it in her bed!" he exclaimed, and he stumbled down the hallway to bang on Becky's door. "I need your bed bitch!" he bellowed. From inside the room Jenny heard a mufffled "Ugggh Cliff! I am soooo drunk. I'm not moving, if you wanna do it in here, its gonna have to be a threesome" Jenny shrugged her shoulders and headed off into the other bedroom. The three of them had a night of passion that in the morning nobody could really remember.....

(* Post read "I'm not moving, so its going to have to be a 3some")

Tue, Mar. 22nd, 2011, 08:44 pm
"Disco Boogie"

"Disco Boogie"

The year is 1978 and Disco has reached its fever pitch. All around the city discos were popping up and people were getting down. Janice was no different. By day she was a mild-mannered typist at a local law firm, but at night she strapped on her roller skates and boogied the night away on the roller disco floor. She moved on her skates like an African lioness, lithe, graceful and exuding sensual power. Her afro spread out around her hair like a mane. People said she looked like Foxy Brown but with bigger boobs and slightly buck teeth.

Janice had been making the circuits as a solo skater for quite a while. She had even won quite a few solo competitions. Truth be told more than one of those trophies had been given to her not on her skating merit but because her boobs were just so mesmerizing as they jiggled and bounced to those funky beats. Male judges were practically hypnotized by them.

At that stage in her roller disco queen career Janice had decided it was time to team up in order to take it to the big leagues and stick it to “the man”. Not that there was really any “the men” in Janice’s semi-suburban life but she’d been watching a lot of Blaxploitation movies and she was on a black power kick.

Everyone who was anyone (and that was really no one) was abuzz about one man. Disco Belvedere. They say he skated like he was born on the rink. They say there was magic in his hustle and hustle in his jive. He could boogie-oogie and shake his groove thing like it ain’t no thang at all. Every woman he had partnered with had won Nationals with him. He was gold lame. Janice was determined to make him her partner. That mirror ball trophy would be hers.

She had set up an audition with him on a Friday night. Since the rink where she skated was just a few blocks down from her work and in the opposite direction of home she had brought her skating gear with her in a big funky whicker bag. She felt like a superhero walking into the roller rink. By day she was mild mannered office working Janice-drone. But in her hip happening bag was her supersexy disco gal costume. She got to the rink around 5:15pm and sashayed into the locker room to change. She slipped off her stockings and skirt and slipped into a pair of orange, purple and gold polyester hiphugger bellbottoms. Disco-rific! Then she unbuttoned her blouse and unleashed her capacious breasts from their bra restraint. She slithered into a gold lame halter top that showed ample amounts of her creamy caramel chocolate cleavage. Next came a pair of gold hoop earring so big they could double as bracelets, a gold cuff bracelet so big it resembled Wonder Woman’s indestructible bracelets and a gold necklace with a rhinestone charm that nestled itself just above her cleavage, pointing right at her breasts like a sparkly little arrow. Last but not least Janice unwound her hair from its bun and *spring* it poofed out into its afro-goddess goodness. A big glittery purple flower pinned in her ‘fro completed the look. “Dy-no-MITE!” Janice thought to herself.

She carried her skates over her shoulder out of the locker room to the edge of the rink where she sat down on one of the fuzzy covered mod seats. She set her snow white skates on the floor and began to stroke the soft supple leather ever so softly with a piece of equally snow white cotton flannel. She smoothed over the curve of the toe, and slid the cloth gently beneath, between the wheels. She stroked hard and fast to buff then softer and slower to shine. She moved her hand over her skates like a lover caressing his lover. She put the cloth down and slowly undid the laces, savoring the anticipation of joy to come. Each time a lace slithered through an eyelet she shivered just a tad. At last the laces were undone, and Janice pulled the tongue back to reveal that delicious interior just waiting to be filled. She touched a red lacquered toe to the edge of that abyss and a tingle ran down her spine. Slowly she slid her smooth shapely toes into the skate, feeling the supple soft leather give way. Her arch brushed the lip of the leather and again she shuddered. Finally her silky bronzed brown heel slide into the skate grazing the leather all the way down until it hit the firm but yielding bottom. Janice began to lace the skates up pulling each eyelet tight, delighting in the feel of her foot being encased in such amazing leather.

She stood up and skated over to the DJ booth, and motioned for him to put on her song. She took a few practice laps around the rink feeling herself limber up, her graceful arms and legs pulling in unison. Soon the first cords to “Rock the Boat” came on and she began her routine. There were turns, a low spin, a backwards gliding hustle, and some fast directional changes every time they sang “rock the boat” (she went one way) “don’t rock the boat baby” (switch the other way) Janice was pure Nubian poetry in motion on the rink. She moved like liquid sex, the disco lights sparking off her brown skin making it gleam like bronzed bronze.

She finished her routine with a graceful crouching spin and an equally graceful halting stop. Her bodacious bosoms heaved with effort and she gleamed with a sheen of perspiration. From the shadows she heard a slow steady clapping. “Bravo, babe, bravo!” the smooth honey basso voice purred. “Disco Belvedere!” Janice thought and a thrill ran through her from her head right down her spine and spread like a warm glow between her legs. “I know what I like and I like what I see” he purred to her “you got style girl”. From the shadows she could see the red glow of his cigarette, and soon enough a smoke ring floated out that looked suspiciously like a vagina.

He stepped from the shadows and as if by magic or fate or just plain good timing a spotlight lit him up and The Bee Gees “Stayin Alive” came on the sound system. Janice’s knees became wobbly as she glimpsed her first glance of the legendary Disco Belvedere. He was stunning in his sky blue polyester lounge suit. The bellbottoms were so wide he could have hidden a midget in each leg and the lapels were so long they brushed past his shoulders and looked like airplane wings. The crotch was so tight it looked like he was smuggling fruit in his pants, two plums and a very large banana. His black patent leather platform shoes had a clear acrylic stack sole at least 4 inches high. Janice loved a man in big shoes. His hair was Jeri-curled into the most amazing afro that was not too long and not too short but oh so amazingly sensually perfect. The sideburns alone were enough to make a girl wet. Above his lip curled a bounteous black moustache which trailed down his cheeks and chin into a perfect bikers fu-manchu. On his long broad fingers were gold rings set with sparkling stones in a riot of colors. His shiny white silk shirt lay unbuttoned most of the way down showing off an expanse of chest and curly black hair. Around his neck he wore a large silver chain and on the end was a sparkling diamond accented Star of David.

“Oh my god you’re a Heeb!” Janice gasped.

“Yeah and you a nigger but I ain’t pointing that now am I?” Disco Belvedere drawled.

“I…I…I thought you were black!” she stammered

“Well Sugar Tits, I’m better than that, I’m white chocolate” he intoned.

And with that Janice melted. The room felt hot and she felt dizzy and sweaty and shaky. She felt drawn to him like a magnet to a fridge door. She skated over to him and pressed her red hot brown body against his uber cool white one and whispered in his ear. “Let me show you some of my better moves” She laced her fingers in his and led him across the rink to a small side room. She parted the bead curtains and led him into the shaggadelic lounge room. Blacklights set the mood with their passionate purple glow. She led him over to one of the beanbag chairs and pushed him down on it. “Off” she said, pointing at his pants.

“Now wait one minute there Ms. Bootay what makes you think you can just abuse Disco Belvedere like this?” Disco Belvedere asked.

“Because I’m a woman, I’m horny, and I can do this” Janice replied as she bent over backwards like a Limbo dancer and grabbed her ankles

“Good point” stated Disco Belvedere as he kicked his shoes off and pulled down his pants. Janice marveled at his enormous Caucasian cock, so creamy white and hard it looked like marble. She slid to her knees on the red shag carpeting and slipped her burgundy lipsticked lips on his luscious member. She kissed his cock from tip to where it meets the nuts. Janice had never seen a one-eyed wonderworm without it sweater. The circumcised penis looked odd to her, like a strange pinkish mushroom. She popped that mushroom cap in her mouth and rolled his tip with her tongue. He reached around her to undo the strings of her halter top. Her ample breasts spilled out of her top and hung like ripe mangos. He stroked her tits that looked like sweet Malted Milkballs, as she went down on his naked trouser snake.

“Oh fuck me now!” Disco Belvedere grunted as he pulled Janice towards his mouth. They kissed frantically, her red lips lost in his black ‘stache. She moaned low and deep as she felt herself swell and juice for him. She eagerly began to pull off her hiphuggers, and went to pull off her skates. “Leave them on” he pleaded, so she pulled her pants off over them and left those creamy white skates on. She stood in front of him in all her natural glory, a very prominent afro between her legs to match the one on her head. “Damn girl!” Disco Belvedere exclaimed, and he pulled a hair pick out of his suitcoat pocket. He used it to gently part her bouffant pubic hair to reveal that pinkish brown seed of her womanhood. He gently licked that black pearl and ran his tongue along the her lips and labia. As he savored her sweet fishy juices he mentally noted that black, white or purple all women tasted pretty much the same down below.

He pulled her onto his lap and she straddled him on the beanbag. With a gentle yet forceful thrust he jammed his penis into her tight, wet, black pussy. She cried out and tossed her head back, her caramel breasts bouncing along. He stroked her boobs, her back, her big black booty. She ran her fingers through his chest hair and his stomach. He watched as his white cock slid in and out of her black pussy, like ebony and ivory. She began to find her rhythm as she rode his white stallion. Ironically it was to the beat of “Stayin Alive” In her head it became “thrust thrust thrust thrust getting it on, getting it on” The beat became faster and more erratic as she got closer and closer to climax. When she finally came and released the music in her head was a much more uptempo “Young Hearts Run Free” As the both came together the Disco Belvedere pulled Janice to his chest and nuzzled her ear. Their afros tangled together, and it became hard to tell where one began and the other ended, it became one big brillo pad of pleasure. They spilled off the beanbag onto the shag carpeting, laying there panting. They looked like coffee and cream laying there on the rug.

Janice slowly let her eyes begin to focus again and watched the patterns from the mirror ball spin on the walls and across Disco Belvedere’s face. He stroked between her thighs in a lazy sort of way and murmured in her ear “You got yourself a partner Sugar Tits. Practice starts tomorrow 9am. Oh and next time Baby Doll bring a dress that’s easier to get out of than those pants”

Sun, Mar. 13th, 2011, 09:24 pm
"Bar Bait"

Kelly had had enough. Enough of work, enough of endless bills, enough of douchebag men who were emotional asshats, but the sex with them was just good enough to keep dating them long after their expiration date had passed, kinda like eggs you keep in your fridge for months. There was a restlessness that had settled in.

Mostly it was boredom. Lately there weren’t even any eggs in her metaphorical fridge to fall back on. Work was a drag. It’s hard to get excited to go in every day when you’re an accountant and stare at spreadsheets every day for hours on end. It was getting bad enough that Kelly was starting to giggle and get a little bit turned on every time she saw the number 69. Kelly was aching for a good dicking.

Friday night rolls around and Kelly gets a call from a girlfriend who says she’s heard of a great little bar that does karaoke. Now karaoke was not Kelly’s favorite thing in the world but there was this sexy deep red dress and a pair of leopard print Louboutin pumps that just were begging to be worn out. Kelly told her friend she’d meet her there, and quickly got ready

It was already 12:30 when Kelly sashayed into the bar, and so she swept up to the bar and ordered a double scotch on the rocks to play catch up. Yes Kelly was a double threat, a girl who drank like a sailor and looked like a street walker. Every guy in the room did a double take and quite a few had to make that surreptitious adjustment to their pants to make sure things sat a bit more comfortably.

Her friend came up to her with 2 guys in tow. “Hiiiii Kelly!!” she drawls as she air kisses Kelly “How aaaare you?” she slured “ You should meeeeeet Jossssh and…..Todd? Yeah Todd. They’re suuuper nice!!” she said as she draped herself across Josh and began to probe his mouth with her tongue like a dental hygienist giving a cleaning.

“Nice to meet you Todd” Kelly said.

“Your friend seems a bit drunk” replied Todd.

“Yeah that happens a lot, she’s just always horny”

“And you, do you ever get horny”

“Me? No never, I’m as pure as Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music” Kelly quipped, her panties becoming damp just looking at Todds jaw as he spoke. I bet that jaw would fit perfectly between my legs she thought. “Besides, I’m a bit tired tonight, and hungry”

“Well I have a protein shot here that could help with that” Todd infered.

“B+ on that one Todd” Kelly said laughing “A for effort, C+ for originality’

“Would you rather me say something like ‘I think cum has a lot of zinc in it’?” Todd replied.

Kelly looked at the man before her and decided that he would be a good egg to have around. She downed her double scotch, motioned to the bartender for 2 house shots, leaned into him and said “hey you wanna go fuck in the back seat of your car?” Todd nodded a hearty yes. The bartender brought 2 shots, and Kelly raised a toast “To spontaneity, venus razors and birth control!” They kicked back their shots and they snuck out the back to where he was parked.

“Now don’t laugh, it’s a minivan. It was on sale and it has fold flat seats!” he admonished Kelly
He beeped open the sliding door and they crawled into the back. Todd began to kiss her neck, probing her ear with his tongue. It was a delightful mix of tickle and turn-on and Kelly moaned in response. She tugged his shirt over his head and tossed so it landed on the steering wheel. She ran her hands over his shoulders and back, surprised by how hairy he was.

Todd slipped a hand down the front of her dress and cupped one of her luscious breasts. It was a nice delight for him to feel that everything showing in front was backed up by real boob underneath. He tugged at her bra but couldn’t figure out how to get it off. Kelly shifted and banged her knee into one of the seatbelt housings. She giggled and waited to see how long it would take Todd to find out it was a front clasp bra.

Todd finally figured it out and he slipped the bra off her shoulders and slipped her dress down too. He urgently began to suckle her breasts like a calf feeding. Kelly arched her back and banged her head against the back of the driver’s seat. Todd reached up between her silken thighs and ran a finger across the whisper of lace that was her panties. Kelly gasped and moaned “oh just fuck me already” Todd pulled her panties off and tossed them on the dash, then pushed her dress up til she was wearing it like a red belt. He then kneeled up to unbuckle his pants and banged his head on the overhead light. “Shit” he cursed. He pushed his jeans down and Kelly had a moment to marvel at the outline of his cock under his boxers in the glow of the streetlamps. Todd pulled his boxers down and all that delicious hard man meat spilled into view.

“Where do you want me to put this?” He whispered.

“Right here” Kelly whispered, fingering her wet wet pussy “Oh god Todd put it RIGHT HERE” she panted.

“Ok ok, wait for me there speedracer” Todd laughed, as he slipped his rock hard cock into her throbbing wet pussy. He pushed in till he felt her Gspot and kept pushing until he bumped her cervix and she let out a gasp that was part pleasure and part piercing pain. He then pulled out of her ever so slowly until she squirmed and writhed in ecstasy beneath her, giving herself carpet burn on her ass. He pushed in faster the next time, working her Gspot until she screamed and then he pulled out. He kept this up, working harder and faster and harder and faster until he could feel her about to come, tensed like a spring. He then pulled all the way out and thrust into her, fistbumping her vagina with his cock, like two frat bros at a kegger. “Pow”

With an almighty “OH GOD!!!!” they both came, and Kelly carved her legacy in his back with her French tips. Todd gave a great shudder and pulled out. He rolled off of her and laid half beside her half on her in the cramped back seat. Kelly shivered in the aftershocks of one of the best car fucks she had ever had. Kelly sat up, pulled her dress down, and up, and gathered panties off the dash and bra from somewhere near the spare tire, stuffing them in her purse.

Todd pulled his shirt back on and as they awkwardly dressed in the back of his van he asked her for her number. She pulled a pen out of her purse and lifted his shirt. She then wrote her number on his chest.

“I can’t read this!” He laughed.

“Oh you will, just have to be in the right place” She demurred and slipped out of the van.

Kelly slipped back into the bar, and into the bathroom to put on her bra. She decided to keep the panties off, she liked the feeling of being a cup that runneth over. She ordered another drink and sang “Sexual Healing” Todd was so confused about the phone number, and quite drunk, so he just drove the 5 blocks home and went to bed. It wasn’t until he stumbled shirtless into the bathroom the next morning that the he understood Kelly’s comment. There, in his reflection in the mirror was her number, like magic. She had written it backwards right over his heart. Wow! What a woman! He thought. Kelly woke up and decided to have eggs for breakfast.

Sat, Mar. 5th, 2011, 09:42 pm
Alice does the dishes, and get her dishes done!

Alice was a simple housewife. She led a simple life. She lived in a trailer, oh excuse me "mobile home" park in the suburbs of a Texas city. It doesn't matter which city really, they're all the same. Gigantic SUVs, big hair, and restaurants on every corner serving portions of Country Fried Steak the size of a Frisbee, you know the type.

Alice didn't mind her simple life. She loved her husband Sampson. He was a plumber and Alice would tell you he could really "snake a drain" if you know what I mean. You do know right? We're talking sex here. Dirty sex to be exact.

Well this particular incident took place on an ordinary Wednesday evening. Alice was in the kitchen scrubbing pots in the sink. Her Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt was rolled up over her meaty forearms and she was furiously scrubbing away when Sampson walked by. He caught sight of his wife's voluptuous backside jiggling frantically and it took all his manly self-control not to strip naked right there in hallway, burst into the kitchen and mount his wife like a stallion in heat.

Instead he smoothed back his hair on the sides (the better to show off his curly brown mullet-"business in the front, party in the back" was his motto, and we're not just talking about hair either folks, again I mean S-E-X) tugged at his uniform shirt in an attempt to pull out the wrinkles and creases and tiptoed into the kitchen. Alice was so absorbed in her SOS scouring she didn't hear Sampson's stealthy approach, and rightly so I suppose. After all a skinny person is less likely to trigger those pesky squeaking floorboards, and Sampson was a skinny little fucker.

He tiptoed right up behind Alice's behind and wrapped his arms around her waist. He slipped his hands under her sweatshirt and begins to knead her plentiful flesh like a baker kneads dough to make it rise. Indeed there was something rising in that kitchen but it wasn't bread! He leaned in closer and nuzzled Alice's neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent, which was a sort of combination of gardenia flowers, Bud Light and bacon. Sampson gently licked her earlobe and as an almost afterthought he bit it, ever so gently.

Alice spun around, a look of surprise on her face. Her mouth formed a perfect pouty O, made all the more attractive by the roundness of her cheeks. For a moment Sampson considers that perfect mouth, and pouty full lips. He thinks of how nice it would be to plunge his member into the middle of that sexy little O. It would be like fucking a donut he thinks, not one of those flimsy sticky yeast donuts but a sturdy cake donut.

He smiled to himself with this secret donut fucking fantasy and slid his hands down her thighs, slowly savoring the journey from hip, across her flank and rear end, moving tantalizingly slow....

Alice drew a shuddered breath, her buxom busoom heaving heavily. Her mind was swimming with thoughts of lust and desire, the dishes lay forgotten in their sudsy sink. Alice half whispered, half croaked "What do you want honey?" Sampson forthrightly replies "Dessert" and gives an almighty tug at the waistband of her spandex shorts.

Alice takes heed and follows Sampson's lead to the kitchen floor. He eased her back and just before her head hit the linoleum, he slipped a potholder and a dish town under her head, so her poofy buffant hair-do does not have to come in contact with the scuffed floor. Alice is trembling like a small dog, a chihuahua maybe. In fact she trembled just like Tito-their teacup chihuahua, who happened to be watching the whole experience from under the table. His little doggy mind was fascinated with the mating habits of his humans, but just couldn't understand why they didn't lick themselves like he did.

Sampson himself was intent on his mission. He tugged harder at the waistband of the spandex shorts and slowly, sensually slid the shorts down around her ankles, pooling them on the top of her Sketchers Shape-ups sneakers. Underneath the shorts there was yet one last layer between him and the sweet carnal confection he so craved. The sparkling whiteness of those pristine panties seemed to taunt Sampson and he could feel his desire mounting, growing to new heights.

He seized those panties and pulled hard and the soft white cotton slipped effortlessly down exposing expanses of flesh almost as white Alice's cotton briefs. Sampson felt his heart race as he spotted his delectable delight nestled amongst a nest of curly black hair. He knelt between her legs and steadied his racing heart.

Sampson then gently placed a hand on the inside of each fleshy thigh and spread Alice's leg. The crown jewel was almost within reach. Next Sampson slowly parted the outer folds of Alice's inner sanctum. It seemed to him it was very much like parting curtains, meat curtains. The musky smell of her womanhood wafted out and Sampson nearly drowned in the sweet scent. He lowered his face closer to his wife's mystic lady parts.

Sampson put his mouth to Alice's precious pearl and inhaled. Alice giggled as the hairs of Sampson's mustache tickled her cooter. Sampson took a deep breath and blew out... PPPHHHHTTT...right on her clitoris. Alice let out a lusty moan of ecstasy and blinked furiously as the world swam in ribbons of pleasure. Sampson smiled a smile of satisfaction then rose to his knees. His mustache and chin glinted with Alice's womanly juices, looking not unlike that glazed donut he was thinking about earlier. He whispered to his Alice "My that is some mighty fine dessert there darlin" and stood up. He then strolled out of the kitchen stopping to pet little Tito on the head and strolled back to the living room to finish watching his NASCAR race.

Alice languished on the floor for a few more moments, as she composed herself. She then pulled her panties and shorts back up and stood up. She mumbled to herself "Darn it, I wish that man would just eat some ice cream or pound cake for desert every once in a while!" But she had a knowing smirk on her face and she hurried to wash and dry the dishes so she could strut into that living room and get her "just desserts"

Thu, May. 21st, 2009, 09:24 pm
I wanna take ya to the gay bar.......

So I've seen a lot of ordinary things lately that seem to be infected with Teh Gay.
1. Yesterday I saw 2 motorcycles that had more neon lights on them then a gay disco. Seriously, covered in red, blue, green even pink neon. And they were flashing. OMG.
2. Today I saw a guy in this horrid shiny fake cowboy costume waving one of those advertising signs. He was dancing around like his night job was a go-go dancer at the local buttpirate bar. I swear I could almost hear La Bouche playing. Scary.

why haven't I posted lately?

not like you give a shit. Just sayin.

You may now go back about your regularly scheduled lives.